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This is from a post I originally wrote in 2007.

What we learn from our so-called failures, are usually the greatest lessons in our lives, we need only to open our eyes so we can see it.  The importance of failures in our lives, can only be revealed to us, once we stop looking at them as failures.

It may even be that life lessons learned through what we perceive as our failures, are greater lessons than what we learn from our successes.  That’s because most success comes when we let go of our fear of failure, and become willing to take some risks.  Most people who are successful in their lives, are not people who have never failed.  They are people who have learned from their mistakes, and pushed ahead past their fears, to get to their successes.

I think the greatest “life lesson” we can ever learn, is the lesson that we should never give up on our dreams.   By reaching for our dreams and our goals in life, we are doing what we were meant to do.  When we follow our dreams, we will inevitably make many mistakes along the way, but hopefully we also grow along the way.  That is why the true “failure” is not when you don’t reach your dream, but rather, when you never even attempt to reach for it.

I’m not sure where I heard this…but it goes something like this — It is through your deepest struggles, that you reach for you highest goals.  I think what that means is; when we are at our lowest, at what we perceive to be rock-bottom, there is no where else for us to go but up.  It is at these times of complete hopelessness, that we consciously choose to either give-up, or to push past our pain and reach for our dreams.  We need to try and remember this, so when we are deep in our own despair over a perceived failure, we can recognize our pain, and see it as an opportunity to reach for our dreams.

FINDING EMPOWERMENT THROUGH ADVERSITY — by Catherine Morgan

When we are suffering it is very difficult, if not impossible, to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But, it is there. You will get through it. And, in time your wounds really will be healed.

Can something good come out of adversity? Often in the face of adversity, we are unable to see anything through our pain. The only thing we can think about, are questions. Why is this happening to me? How will I go on? How will I survive? These are all reasonable questions, and in the depth of your pain you will ask them, and more. But, there are no answers to these questions. Only after you realize this, will you be able to go on, and let go.

We can not turn away from our pain. It is very important that we feel all our feelings during these times of adversity and heartache. Denying our pain, or denying our feelings, will not benefit us in any way. In fact, it will only prolong our troubles. But, if we look at our situation, and face our problems head-on; we will triumph.

You may feel like you are losing the battle; but when you push through your battle, you come out on the other side the winner of your war. That is because you are empowered when you conquer life’s toughest battles. Only at these times of empowerment do we grow into the people we are meant to be. Think about that for a minute…Who would you be right now, if it wasn’t for the adversity you have been through in your life?

For me personally, I wish I had never had to go through many of the painful events of my life; loss, divorce, illness, betrayal, (just to name a few). But, I also know that I would not be who (or where) I am today, had I not. My past heartache, and my past pain, are what make me the compassionate person that I am today. And in retrospect, I don’t think I would want to be the kind of person, who knows no hardships. It’s because of these hardships that I appreciate every thing I have, even the little things that many people take for granted.

I can now see that my past adversity has truly been a blessing in my life. I don’t look forward to future adversity, however I know it will come. When it does come, I will have the knowledge of my past strength to help me overcome, and once again triumph.

My hope for everyone, is that they are able to one day look past their pain, to find their empowerment.

*This was cross-posted from a post I wrote back in January of 2007 for my first blog – Be The Change You Want To See In Yourself

When it comes to healthy living, don’t sweat the small stuff.

Whether you’ve just begun to adopt a healthy living lifestyle, or you’ve been eating and living healthy for years, there’s no need to put pressure on yourself to be perfect at it.  You don’t have to sweat the small stuff.

Yes, if you go out to dinner with friends, it is possible to order healthy off most menus…

• choose light entrees off the menu
• avoid the bread and butter
• choose vegetables in place of fries or baked potatoes
• say “no” to dessert

But there’s no healthy-living law that says you have to.

Yes, if you are out of town, there are still many ways to fit your regular exercise routine in…

• use the hotel gym or pool
• take the steps rather than the elevator
• take a walk and see the sights

But there’s no healthy-living law that says you have to.

Yes, if you’re having a bad day, there are healthy comfort foods to choose from…

• fat free and sugar free puddings
• low fat and no sugar added ice-cream
• a pasta dish made with whole wheat pasta and a low fat sauce
• light banana cream pie

But there’s no healthy-living law that says you can’t just buy a gallon of ice-cream.

We all know that there are no “real” healthy-living laws, but that doesn’t always stop us from punishing ourselves when we perceive we are breaking them.  That’s all it is though, a perception.  It’s a perception of guilt, and often that negativity leads us to giving up on ourselves.  It doesn’t have to be that way — If we take the little step of not sweating the small stuff, we will see huge results.

• less stress
• less guilt
• increased mental strength
• more acceptance of ourselves

When we don’t sweat the small stuff, we do our body good…And that’s healthy living too.

For the most part, I think I’m making many more healthy choices in my life, and I feel good about that.  But I’ll admit, on a recent four day cruise with my daughter, I ordered cheese cake every night from room service just before I went to bed.  And even though I could have chosen healthy meals and desserts, I only did so when it was something that I really wanted.  I didn’t go out of my way to exercise, but I did take the steps instead of the elevator (sometimes).  Overall, I didn’t sweat the small stuff.  And you know what?  I had a wonderful, guilt free vacation with my daughter.

Do you allow yourself a “guilt free” break from healthy living every now and then?  Is it something you might want to try?  I hope you’ll let us know your thoughts in comments.

For every person who watches the trailer, Showtime will donate $1 (up to $25,000) to the American Cancer Society…

Join the American Cancer Society and Showtime’s The Big C in the movement to create a world with less cancer and more birthdays. In the new series on the pay-cable network, actress Laura Linney stars as Cathy Jamison, a reserved, stifled, Minneapolis schoolteacher who receives the life-changing news that she has cancer. From that moment on, she decides to make some drastic, long-overdue adjustments to the way she is living her life. The Big C premieres at 10:30 p.m. (ET/PT) on Monday, August 16 on Showtime.

You can learn more about The Big C and help the American Cancer Society save lives from cancer by watching this exclusive trailer for the show. For every person who watches the trailer, Showtime will donate $1 (up to $25,000) to the American Cancer Society to help people stay well and get well, to find cures, and to fight back against a disease that has already taken too much. Together, we can make a world with less cancer and more birthdays a reality!

This week the Choose You Blog is focusing on the topic of relieving stress and finding peace. My contribution to this cause comes from several different posts I’ve done over the past few years.

These are posts I’ve done on the many different ways we can reduce stress in our lives.

Did you know laughing is good for reducing stress?

Smile and Laugh Your Way to Better Health…

Diet and exercise are important for good health, but did you know laughter is too? If you want to be as healthy as you can be, than laughter needs to be part of your healthy living regimen. Is it?

Here are some of the Health Benefits of Laughter:

• Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases infection fighting antibodies. It increases our attentiveness, heart rate, and pulse.
• People who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower standing blood pressure than the average person. When people have a good laugh, initially the blood pressure increases, but then it decreases to levels below normal. Breathing then becomes deeper which sends oxygen enriched blood and nutrients throughout the body.
• Laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may help protect you against a heart attack, according to the study at the University of Maryland Medical Center (cited above). The study, which is the first to indicate that laughter may help prevent heart disease, found that people with heart disease were 40 percent less likely to laugh in a variety of situations compared to people of the same age without heart disease.

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Thanks for all of your wonderful and supportive comments on last week’s post. As promised, all of your comments were entered into a drawing for a Choose You stainless water bottle and lapel pin. Here is how it went down…

I had told my daughter (and official Choose You referee) that she could pick the winner. But when it was time to pick, my mother (and Choose You supporter) wanted to have a debate over who was more deserving of that honor. Ultimately, I let my daughter pick. Then, in order to appease my mother’s sense of competition, I had them both compete to see who could draw the better picture of the winner’s name. Only catch was, they didn’t want me to choose whose picture was better, they wanted all of you to decide (see poll at the end of this post).

And the winner is…

Congratulations Michele. You are the winner of the Choose You water bottle…I’ll be contacting you soon.

So now that we’ve taken care of business, let me tell you how I’ve been doing with my Choose You commitment.

It’s good and bad. The good…I haven’t eaten any of the foods I committed not to eat (that would be sugar and high fat snacks). The bad…I’ve been over compensating by eating more low-fat snacks (mostly pretzels). Since part of my commitment also involves losing at least five pounds, my current pretzel consumption isn’t going to be acceptable. But not to worry. I have a plan.

This is something that has worked for me in the past, so I’m going to do it again. Since I tend to be a “grazer” when it comes to eating snacks, I’m going to use small zip-lock bags to divide my snacks into smaller servings. I’ll go ahead and do it now so I can show you what I mean…and so I actually do it.

So now the bag of pretzels is filled with a bunch of smaller bags. I’m going to do the same thing with low-fat Cheez-Its. I know you can buy snacks already in smaller bags, but I always think it’s more expensive that way.

In addition to trying to be more conscientious about my snack consumption, I’m also going to start using the online calorie counter/food journal again (it really helps keep me more mindful of what I’m putting in my mouth).

And although I tend to be more of a do as I say, not as I do kind of girl…I’m going to try to take my own advice about willpower…

The more willpower you have the easier it will be, but perfection isn’t necessary.

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How many times in the course of a day do you put yourself first? Let’s face it, women have a lot of trouble doing that. Somewhere along the line we became convinced that putting ourselves first was taboo, and rather than see the benefits of taking time for ourselves, we instead chose to feel guilty about it. In the long-run this type of behavior can catch up with us in the form of poor health, chronic illness, and even cancer.

The American Cancer Society wants us to stop ignoring ourselves, and start caring about ourselves and our health. But that’s easier said than done. So to help, they’ve launched the Choose You campaign, and it’s all about helping us keep our individual commitments to healthy living.

So…What is the Choose You campaign all about?

Choose You is a movement created by the American Cancer Society that encourages women to put their own health first in the fight against cancer. The movement challenges women to make healthier choices, and supports them in their commitment to eat right, get active, quit smoking and get regular health checks.

The Choose You Movement shines a light on a hidden issue: that while one in three American women will get cancer in her lifetime, about 50% of cancer deaths could be prevented if more emphasis were placed on early detection and healthier lifestyles including maintaining a healthy weight through diet and exercise and avoiding tobacco.

Ellen Pompeo, star of Grey’s Anatomy, is the official ambassador of the Choose You campaign…

Would you like to know how you can get started? It’s easy and fun, here’s what you do…

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Are you an emotional eater?  If it’s any consolation, you’re not alone.  I have to confess…I am an emotional eater.  When I’m upset I eat.  When I’m stressed I eat.  When I’m worried I eat.  And let’s be clear, these are the times I have uncontrollable urges to eat junk (candy, cookies, ice cream), all the stuff I know is bad for me.  I could be eating healthy for months, then something upsets me, and it’s all over.

The crazy thing about being an emotional eater is that you know that eating isn’t going to make what you’re upset about any better, but you do it anyway.  In fact, you know that eating the junk that you’re craving is actually going to contribute to making you feel worse, but you do it anyway.  You even know that once you start it’s going to become a vicious cycle of craving, eating, and then feeling guilty about it.  Even so, you still do it.  Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result? Maybe so, but I still try not to be too hard on myself when this happens to me.  I sometimes think it’s worse when I try to fight the urge to eat through my emotions, it just seems to make my cravings even stronger.

Emotional eating is something we do in an attempt to suppress negative feelings in our life.   There are many triggers that accompany emotional eating, here are a few…

• Relationship or marital problems.
• Financial worries
• Unemployment
• Health problems of your own or family member.
• Stress at work.
• Bad weather
• Fatigue or lack of sleep.

So what’s an emotional eater to do?  This is what I try to do…

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Are you stressed out?

Even a small amount of stress can have negative effects on your overall health and well-being.  Can you spare six minutes of your time to reduce some of that stress?  If so, give this a try.

Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for the next six minutes.

COLORFUL MEDITATION – For meditation and stress reduction is 6 minutes of continuous highly complex computer generated kaleidoscopic imagery with an original New Age ambient music soundtrack…

from www.cinemandala.com

Did you try it?  Did it help?  Let me know in comments.

For most of us food is more than just the nourishment needed for our survival, it’s also an emotional roller coaster (with many ups and downs).  One slice of chocolate cake can take us from desire, to exhilaration, to satisfaction, and often land us right into guilt.  Which is exactly why they call it a guilty pleasure.  But should we really feel guilty for eating something simply for the pleasure of it?  Of course not.  So why do we?

I’ll be the first person to admit that sometimes it’s easy to get sucked into that (post indulging) guilt.  But the truth is, the guilt can actually be the catalyst that spirals us into more emotional eating and even more guilt.  The remedy is to not allow yourself to fall victim to overeating guilt from the start.

When you make a mistake, treat yourself with kindness.

As with everything in life, we need to embrace our imperfections.  And regardless of how committed we are to a particular diet or healthy eating program, we always have to leave room for occasional guilty pleasures.  Try to focus on the “pleasure” part a guilty pleasures.  If you’re going to over indulge, at least enjoy every moment and savor every bite of your indulgence.

Here are some tips to help you avoid overeating and the guilt that often follows…

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